This is my first attempt at blogging, I'm not entirely sure what I'm doing or why. I've always considered myself an open book about my life, but for some reason, as I am about to embark upon this weight loss journey, I don't feel like sharing everything with the people I know. I have great friends who I know would be super supportive, but this is something too personal I think. Maybe it's the stigma of being overweight and everyone having their magical formula for weight loss. I imagine it must be the same for pregnant women- every other mom in the world wants to tell you what to expect and exactly how things should be done, as if there is only one way to raise a child.
My weight problem has only become a problem in the last few years. It's funny (or rather ironic) that when I was a child my family feared I'd have weight problems but on the skinny side. They let me have whatever I wanted as a child because no matter what I ate I never gained a pound and was "too skinny" by the standard set by my southern family. This has become a curse, because as I got older and my metabolism slowed, I still ate whatever I wanted only then I started to gain weight. I was never obese by any means, in fact, I'm pretty sure I've gained just 5 lbs every year from my teen years on. More than a decade later though, this is now a problem. I've never been uncomfortable with my weight either until just this year. I'm not sure what happened but I gained 10 pounds in one month, and it seems to have pushed me out of my comfort zone.
I am now uncomfortable with my body, something I've never been, and it's slowly altering my life. I notice things now I've never noticed before. When I carry my laundry upstairs, I get winded. I find this shocking as I backpacked across Europe in 2008 with 60lbs on my back (literally backpacked) and I was only 20 lbs lighter than I am now. Yet so, those extra few pounds are weighing me down. I've had back problems since the summer. I'm not sure if they are related, but I'm sure it can't help. I think I might even snore now. I notice my clothes getting tighter, my belt doesn't even fit anymore. And the pants that once hung off of me are almost too snug for me to wear.
So, enough is enough. I am moving to NYC next year and I've decided I am not going to miss out on the fashion because I am too fat to fit into anything cute. It's time for me to take control of my life again. With the dietary help of my friend (we'll call her M), I've got 10 months till my move, and I fully intend to strut the streets of New York by then- in a dress, heels, and new confidence that the city requires to make it.
This is my journey to cut my weight in half. It will a be a long and lonely road... I hope to have the cyber world keep me company.
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