So I know I've been horrible at writing, but it's been a crazy few weeks.
First to pick up where I left off- the night of my last blog it felt like I was getting a stye in my eye. I wear contacts so I am familiar with styes and wasn't entirely surprised that I was getting one; I usually get one a year. But the next day, as my eye continued to redden and become sensitive to light, I realized I did in fact have pink eye. I had never had pink eye before and didn't know what to expect- the fact that it went from a minor irritation to blood red and swollen shut in about 5 hours was shocking to me. By the time I made it to the Dr it was late in the evening and even later when I tried to fill my prescription. Turns out the 24 hour Walgreens didn't have my prescription eye drops in stock, but I thought it was no big deal as I was fine the night before. This was to my peril. I have never felt like my eye was going to explode before, it hurt so bad I wanted nothing more than to gouge it out of my head. By the morning I hadn't slept all night, I walked around with both eyes shut because even the night light in my bathroom as viewed with my GOOD eye sent shocking waves of pain to the infected eye. My friend graciously took pity on me and my tears of misery and went to get my drops by noon the next day. By then it had swollen shut and leaked its bacteria down my face causing my cheek to look chapped. I had to pry open my eye to put in the first drop, and within 20 mins my blood shot eye had soothed and then I was relatively normal after a few hours.
Since I was contagious, I was unable to go to my work Gala that Saturday, which I guess was ok since I couldn't eat the dinner provided anyhow being that I was still cleansing. It was just a rough week. I went straight from having essentially seafood poisoning to having pink eye. At that point I felt like my cleanse was pretty much shot.
I did finish out the program, but it was no longer a cleanse as I had milk and bread on some days I felt sick. I tried to eat good still and drank my shakes as scheduled. I skipped one of the cleanse days as I felt I hadn't had enough good health that week and feared making myself even worse. Ultimately by the end of the month I had lost 10 lbs and 3 inches. My energy is through the roof even with the sickness.
I ordered another pak and intend to do it all over again. I ordered the soup mixes this time though, and the milk chocolates. I also bought an app that is going to have me running a 5K in 8 weeks. I am pretty stoked to start that. I've given myself just over a week off and have surprisingly not had any weight gain, so I am pretty happy. I have continued the shakes in the morning, they have become a staple in my life. I can tell that I crash on the mornings when I eat normal food as opposed to the shakes, they really are beneficial to getting me through a day. AND I don't hate them like I used to. They still taste chalky, but I don't gag on them anymore, I'm pretty used to its taste. I found some recipes on how to spice them up with fruits and such to change the flavor, so I'm looking forward to the change.
Last week I got a sinus infection with a cold and it makes me wonder what the hell is going on in my body. I used to have an immune system of steel and yet in 30 days I've had seafood poisoning, pink eye, and a cold that morphed into a sinus infection. I read somewhere that when you're cleansing, your body desperately tries to rid itself of toxins and you'll have more breakouts or earwax or things like that. Makes me wonder if all of this illness isn't my body ridding itself of all the bad stuff. I know it seems more logical that I got the pink eye from a client, and the cold from my roommate, but still...
I'm still really congested, and look forward to not being sick anymore. I think I'm done for a while. Well, I think that's catches you up, I hope to be better at writing now that things have leveled out.
-N
Monday, February 13, 2012
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Dark Days
I've had a rough go of the last few days. I wrote about this yesterday while I was in the throws of horribleness, but erased it and decided to wait until I felt better before I wrote. The last time I wrote was Monday, writing about having my first meal since doing my Sunday Cleanse day. Well, after that meal, things spiraled out of control for me in more ways than one.
I went to sleep monday night with a full blissful belly; I had had a fillet of salmon which was stuffed with crab, green beans, and rice. I couldn't have been happier, it was one of my favorite dishes. But at 4am on Tuesday morning, I was hovered over a toilet puking my brains out. After that for an ongoing 5 hours, probably every 20 mins I ran to the bathroom with diarrhea. My stomach physically hurt from the purging, it was already in a sensitive state from cleansing. All signs pointed to the fact that I had seafood poisoning, though it didn't take me long to confirm that my other two dinner guests had no symptoms, and it was in fact just me. It was probably 11am when I finally attempted to drink a shake. got half way through it before it too came up. I laid in bed miserable. That afternoon, I ate two scrambled eggs, but I in no way took any of the pak pills or vitamins for fear that my usual gag reflex would send me into the realms of misery from which I had just come. After hours of purging and pooping, I was exhausted and completely bankrupt emotionally. Because with the low feeling came the emotional side.
By the time I realized my vomiting was over, I wanted nothing more than to take a shower and feel clean. I knew I was lacking in strength so I drew myself a bath and turned on my new Gavin Degraw CD. I settled into the warm water for what seemed to be the perfect answer to my misery. I slid forward and let my head settle into the water. I closed my eyes and took a deep cleansing breath. And then I could feel it rising into my throat, not vomit this time; panic. And when the panic happened, it ironically made me panic (panic two fold, in case you didn't catch that. What can I say? I am a complex creature). You see, 18 months ago (though it feels like yesterday), I was in a white water rafting mishap in which I almost died. I should have died. I was hypothermic, had gone a mile down half a dozen class 5 rapids, hit every jagged rack on the way down, went through rapids called "The Staircase" and "Suckhole", I was strangled on my life vest, my larynx closed up, and of course, I nearly drowned. I had gone into that last rapid having already embraced that it was my final moment of life before I'd die... and then I was rescued- picked right out of the water. The next 6 months were the worst of my life. I suffered from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and I can tell you with certainty that it is a debilitating illness in which you wake up everyday to a nightmare and every moment you relive the worst moment of your life. I won't go any further on that on this blog, this is not my PTSD blog, it's my new journey blog! haha I only mention all of that because, though I have been healed of my PTSD (about 9 months healed), here I was, laying with my head in the water, and those fears rose within me again fears I haven't felt in over 9 months. I have not been afraid of water in nearly a year, I even did the Polar Bear jump last winter to "cure" myself of my debilitating fear of water. But there is was, that fear, right there in the bath with me. And remembering what it was like during my PTSD episode, thus my two fold panic- panic of the thing and panic that I'm panicking like I used to. I know, I know, it was as exhausting and confusing as it sounds. I rose from the water abruptly and jumped for my towel before I even realized that tears were streaming down my face. I cried until I had no more energy to cry and then went soundly to sleep.
When I woke, I was not feeling emotionally better, but I was not panicky which was an improvement. I was also still not hungry, and would not be again until this morning. I picked up where I left off with the cleanse, making a shake and packing a lunch for work. I just had my first snack and my stomach does not appear to be rejecting me.
I had always heard that you take an emotional journey while cleansing, but never could I have imagined this. I feel humbled at the prospect of facing my inner demons, demons I honestly never thought I'd see the face of again. I have no intention of quitting the cleanse, on the contrary I'm more determined than ever. But this has taken me down a few pegs. My friend told me today that cleansing is just like peeling away the layers of the life I've already lived, some worse than others. This week was just a tough layer. I'll have to remind myself of that if it gets hard again- it's only just a layer. I have 10 years of weight to lose, it's time for a stroll down memory lane!
-N
P.S. in retrospect I realize that I should not have eaten something as rich as crab on on empty and cleansed stomach, and it was my fatal mistake. Duly noted.
I went to sleep monday night with a full blissful belly; I had had a fillet of salmon which was stuffed with crab, green beans, and rice. I couldn't have been happier, it was one of my favorite dishes. But at 4am on Tuesday morning, I was hovered over a toilet puking my brains out. After that for an ongoing 5 hours, probably every 20 mins I ran to the bathroom with diarrhea. My stomach physically hurt from the purging, it was already in a sensitive state from cleansing. All signs pointed to the fact that I had seafood poisoning, though it didn't take me long to confirm that my other two dinner guests had no symptoms, and it was in fact just me. It was probably 11am when I finally attempted to drink a shake. got half way through it before it too came up. I laid in bed miserable. That afternoon, I ate two scrambled eggs, but I in no way took any of the pak pills or vitamins for fear that my usual gag reflex would send me into the realms of misery from which I had just come. After hours of purging and pooping, I was exhausted and completely bankrupt emotionally. Because with the low feeling came the emotional side.
By the time I realized my vomiting was over, I wanted nothing more than to take a shower and feel clean. I knew I was lacking in strength so I drew myself a bath and turned on my new Gavin Degraw CD. I settled into the warm water for what seemed to be the perfect answer to my misery. I slid forward and let my head settle into the water. I closed my eyes and took a deep cleansing breath. And then I could feel it rising into my throat, not vomit this time; panic. And when the panic happened, it ironically made me panic (panic two fold, in case you didn't catch that. What can I say? I am a complex creature). You see, 18 months ago (though it feels like yesterday), I was in a white water rafting mishap in which I almost died. I should have died. I was hypothermic, had gone a mile down half a dozen class 5 rapids, hit every jagged rack on the way down, went through rapids called "The Staircase" and "Suckhole", I was strangled on my life vest, my larynx closed up, and of course, I nearly drowned. I had gone into that last rapid having already embraced that it was my final moment of life before I'd die... and then I was rescued- picked right out of the water. The next 6 months were the worst of my life. I suffered from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and I can tell you with certainty that it is a debilitating illness in which you wake up everyday to a nightmare and every moment you relive the worst moment of your life. I won't go any further on that on this blog, this is not my PTSD blog, it's my new journey blog! haha I only mention all of that because, though I have been healed of my PTSD (about 9 months healed), here I was, laying with my head in the water, and those fears rose within me again fears I haven't felt in over 9 months. I have not been afraid of water in nearly a year, I even did the Polar Bear jump last winter to "cure" myself of my debilitating fear of water. But there is was, that fear, right there in the bath with me. And remembering what it was like during my PTSD episode, thus my two fold panic- panic of the thing and panic that I'm panicking like I used to. I know, I know, it was as exhausting and confusing as it sounds. I rose from the water abruptly and jumped for my towel before I even realized that tears were streaming down my face. I cried until I had no more energy to cry and then went soundly to sleep.
When I woke, I was not feeling emotionally better, but I was not panicky which was an improvement. I was also still not hungry, and would not be again until this morning. I picked up where I left off with the cleanse, making a shake and packing a lunch for work. I just had my first snack and my stomach does not appear to be rejecting me.
I had always heard that you take an emotional journey while cleansing, but never could I have imagined this. I feel humbled at the prospect of facing my inner demons, demons I honestly never thought I'd see the face of again. I have no intention of quitting the cleanse, on the contrary I'm more determined than ever. But this has taken me down a few pegs. My friend told me today that cleansing is just like peeling away the layers of the life I've already lived, some worse than others. This week was just a tough layer. I'll have to remind myself of that if it gets hard again- it's only just a layer. I have 10 years of weight to lose, it's time for a stroll down memory lane!
-N
P.S. in retrospect I realize that I should not have eaten something as rich as crab on on empty and cleansed stomach, and it was my fatal mistake. Duly noted.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Day 8-the day after
Weight lost: 7lbs
Inches lost: 2inches
It's been a few days so let me back up a bit. I went to a musical on Saturday with my friend, and before hand we went to my favorite place ever (previously mentioned), Humpy's Alehouse. My friend wanted to be sympathetic to me and my plight, but I insisted she order whatever she likes, that I would be fine. And when the waitress brought her out a plate of salmon spread and chicken nachos, I'm not gunna lie, a part of me died inside. :-) Our routine was to order those and split them, and I'd order a beer, and we'd watch football on the tvs... I'm THAT kinda girl! lol But instead, I was super proud of myself; I ordered salmon and a salad. It was the first meal I'd had "out" since starting this, and I thought it was the safest bet. I really actually did like my meal, it was delicious (I've never had anything at Humpy's I didn't like) but I couldn't stop watching her food like a sad puppy. The last cleanse I did I smelled things all the time, well this time I stare I guess! She knew it was hard for me, and I tried not make it a big deal, but she seriously took the first chip of nachos all piled high with chicken and cheese and guac and sour cream and black bean deliciousness and the cheese strung out like 6 inches before it broke and recoiled back. I actually said out loud "Seriously?!"- more to the nacho than to her, I can't blame HER for the nacho's irresistible deliciousness. We had good a laugh (though to confess, I am still thinking about how good those looked). That was officially my last solid meal before the cleanse day.
And that brings me to Sunday. I was unsure how my body would react to this cleanse, so I hadn't planned anything on sunday, just a book and water bottle at my side. So the "Cleanse for Life" liquid has a pretty rank immediate after-taste but it goes away almost instantly which I was grateful for. The plan is you drink the cleanse for life 4 times and eat these "snacks" that were appetite suppressants 4 times, and you alternate these. Since I had woken up early, it seemed logical for me to plan on every two hours doing one or the other. I was definitely not hungry all morning, it wasn't until about 1pm that I started noticing that it was getting harder to make it to the next interval. At about 5PM I started to get sad, which I assumed was a blood sugar thing or a cleansing thing (I've read that your cells have memories and as you detox, sometimes you feel what you felt before) or both. I was a little light headed all day and I found my mind wandering while I read and twice I looked out the window and thought for a split second I was back in Texas. I mean, obviously I knew I was in Alaska, but I looked into the sun and both time thought to myself, "I should be reading outside in the warmth." until I came out of the confusion and realized I was in Alaska and it was in fact -5 outside. It was a weird feeling, kinda confusing like I said. So as the hours passed, I found myself "homesick". But it was weird homesick, cause I don't actually think of Texas as my home anymore. It's where my family and extended family live of course, but that is their home now and I just visit. So to be longing for a home I no longer consider a home... it just weighed on my heart. It made me think of my favorite quote from the movie Garden State (If you haven't seen it, watch it immediately), "It's like you feel homesick for a place that doesn't exist... Maybe that's what family is; a group of people who miss the same imaginary place." That's exactly how I felt. I laid in bed for a while after that.
THEN, much to my dismay, I had forgotten that I can have these chocolates I bought with my pak, it's the only snack I could have outside of those pretty unsatisfying appetite suppressants. And THIS my friends made all the difference. I had one of those two different time and it pulled me through to the finish line without issue. By the evening I had finished reading my book and was pretty wiped. Unfortunately, I could not sleep (ugh!) so today I'm tired.
This morning was a whole other monkey. I could feel the weakness in my body (I don't know how people cleanse for two days in a row, I'm not there yet). I could feel my body craving nutrients. I managed my morning routine pretty normal and when I got to the shake I sucked that bad boy down, like inhaled it! lol It was the first time since I started this that I got it down in under 10 mins. I wish I could say the day was uneventful but my stomach is definitely sensitive. I ate my snack, the first solid food I'd had in 2 days and my stomach started making noises. Nothing came of that but I started feeling nausea, not so bad that it effected me or I was going to vomit or anything, but I could feel it. It took me 2 hours to finish a fiber bar, and I've had a lot of water in between. It's odd because I seriously don't have an upset stomach, it doesn't hurt, it just feels, I dunno, weak or something. Can you strain your stomach? lol
Anyways, tonight for my first solid meal I am having salmon and green beans and rice and I have been thinking about it for 2 days! Thank you baby Jesus, the moment has come!
-N
Inches lost: 2inches
It's been a few days so let me back up a bit. I went to a musical on Saturday with my friend, and before hand we went to my favorite place ever (previously mentioned), Humpy's Alehouse. My friend wanted to be sympathetic to me and my plight, but I insisted she order whatever she likes, that I would be fine. And when the waitress brought her out a plate of salmon spread and chicken nachos, I'm not gunna lie, a part of me died inside. :-) Our routine was to order those and split them, and I'd order a beer, and we'd watch football on the tvs... I'm THAT kinda girl! lol But instead, I was super proud of myself; I ordered salmon and a salad. It was the first meal I'd had "out" since starting this, and I thought it was the safest bet. I really actually did like my meal, it was delicious (I've never had anything at Humpy's I didn't like) but I couldn't stop watching her food like a sad puppy. The last cleanse I did I smelled things all the time, well this time I stare I guess! She knew it was hard for me, and I tried not make it a big deal, but she seriously took the first chip of nachos all piled high with chicken and cheese and guac and sour cream and black bean deliciousness and the cheese strung out like 6 inches before it broke and recoiled back. I actually said out loud "Seriously?!"- more to the nacho than to her, I can't blame HER for the nacho's irresistible deliciousness. We had good a laugh (though to confess, I am still thinking about how good those looked). That was officially my last solid meal before the cleanse day.
And that brings me to Sunday. I was unsure how my body would react to this cleanse, so I hadn't planned anything on sunday, just a book and water bottle at my side. So the "Cleanse for Life" liquid has a pretty rank immediate after-taste but it goes away almost instantly which I was grateful for. The plan is you drink the cleanse for life 4 times and eat these "snacks" that were appetite suppressants 4 times, and you alternate these. Since I had woken up early, it seemed logical for me to plan on every two hours doing one or the other. I was definitely not hungry all morning, it wasn't until about 1pm that I started noticing that it was getting harder to make it to the next interval. At about 5PM I started to get sad, which I assumed was a blood sugar thing or a cleansing thing (I've read that your cells have memories and as you detox, sometimes you feel what you felt before) or both. I was a little light headed all day and I found my mind wandering while I read and twice I looked out the window and thought for a split second I was back in Texas. I mean, obviously I knew I was in Alaska, but I looked into the sun and both time thought to myself, "I should be reading outside in the warmth." until I came out of the confusion and realized I was in Alaska and it was in fact -5 outside. It was a weird feeling, kinda confusing like I said. So as the hours passed, I found myself "homesick". But it was weird homesick, cause I don't actually think of Texas as my home anymore. It's where my family and extended family live of course, but that is their home now and I just visit. So to be longing for a home I no longer consider a home... it just weighed on my heart. It made me think of my favorite quote from the movie Garden State (If you haven't seen it, watch it immediately), "It's like you feel homesick for a place that doesn't exist... Maybe that's what family is; a group of people who miss the same imaginary place." That's exactly how I felt. I laid in bed for a while after that.
THEN, much to my dismay, I had forgotten that I can have these chocolates I bought with my pak, it's the only snack I could have outside of those pretty unsatisfying appetite suppressants. And THIS my friends made all the difference. I had one of those two different time and it pulled me through to the finish line without issue. By the evening I had finished reading my book and was pretty wiped. Unfortunately, I could not sleep (ugh!) so today I'm tired.
This morning was a whole other monkey. I could feel the weakness in my body (I don't know how people cleanse for two days in a row, I'm not there yet). I could feel my body craving nutrients. I managed my morning routine pretty normal and when I got to the shake I sucked that bad boy down, like inhaled it! lol It was the first time since I started this that I got it down in under 10 mins. I wish I could say the day was uneventful but my stomach is definitely sensitive. I ate my snack, the first solid food I'd had in 2 days and my stomach started making noises. Nothing came of that but I started feeling nausea, not so bad that it effected me or I was going to vomit or anything, but I could feel it. It took me 2 hours to finish a fiber bar, and I've had a lot of water in between. It's odd because I seriously don't have an upset stomach, it doesn't hurt, it just feels, I dunno, weak or something. Can you strain your stomach? lol
Anyways, tonight for my first solid meal I am having salmon and green beans and rice and I have been thinking about it for 2 days! Thank you baby Jesus, the moment has come!
-N
Friday, January 13, 2012
Hulking out
So it is finally happening, I have noticed my first major change. First a little background. I am NOT a morning person, and I caps that because of how emphatic I am about it. It's so bad that I even tell people I live with to not talk to me in the morning until I talk to them (or don't expect a "good morning" back if they talk to me). Depending on how tired I am, this could last an hour to two hours. I hope you don't judge me, I am actually a very nice person, and even in the category of "personable". But when I'm tired, I'd rather not say anything to anyone, and those that dare talk to me better say something intelligible or else your going to get the death stare from me. And let's face it, I am always tired in the morning. As a naturally guilt-ridden person, I then feel awful- about 3 hours later- that I behaved so badly. But as they say, c'est la vie.
So this morning, still no different than usual; I couldn't sleep last night which I read insomnia is a side effect of cleansing, and I woke up very tired. I get into work and had a message waiting for me to call back a client which is arguably the biggest idiot in the industry. I knew the conversation would inevitably fling me into the depths of loathing from which there is no return till at least lunch time (these people ruin my day from the get-go). But I make the call and the niceness flows from my mouth with ease. Then my assistant comes in and I tell her a funny story about yesterday and we have a big laugh in my office. It was probably mid laugh, right as I'm throwing my head back in the hearty chuckle, that it occurs to me... I am in a GREAT mood! You might view this as a fluke, but I can tell you with certainty, that I never deter from my morning grumpiness, not a single morning; I can't even fake a laugh. But here I am, still sleepy tired, yet all evidence to the contrary- It is like I am the best version of myself this morning! haha
The other thing I am continuing to take note of is how vividly I'm dreaming. I mentioned it to Diana (my "cleanse coach") asking if she has ever had that experience, and she simply responds "maybe you're getting quality REM sleep now". A simple statement yet profound impact. I've never had so many dreams in such a short amount of time, it makes me wonder if I ever get the proper sleep- THUS my morning grumpiness. It's not an excuse, I'm just sayin'...
-N
So this morning, still no different than usual; I couldn't sleep last night which I read insomnia is a side effect of cleansing, and I woke up very tired. I get into work and had a message waiting for me to call back a client which is arguably the biggest idiot in the industry. I knew the conversation would inevitably fling me into the depths of loathing from which there is no return till at least lunch time (these people ruin my day from the get-go). But I make the call and the niceness flows from my mouth with ease. Then my assistant comes in and I tell her a funny story about yesterday and we have a big laugh in my office. It was probably mid laugh, right as I'm throwing my head back in the hearty chuckle, that it occurs to me... I am in a GREAT mood! You might view this as a fluke, but I can tell you with certainty, that I never deter from my morning grumpiness, not a single morning; I can't even fake a laugh. But here I am, still sleepy tired, yet all evidence to the contrary- It is like I am the best version of myself this morning! haha
The other thing I am continuing to take note of is how vividly I'm dreaming. I mentioned it to Diana (my "cleanse coach") asking if she has ever had that experience, and she simply responds "maybe you're getting quality REM sleep now". A simple statement yet profound impact. I've never had so many dreams in such a short amount of time, it makes me wonder if I ever get the proper sleep- THUS my morning grumpiness. It's not an excuse, I'm just sayin'...
-N
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Day 3
I miss food. No no no, let me rephrase, I miss certain foods; this cleanse certainly allows me to eat. I have a meal a day and two snack but two shakes replace breakfast and dinner. Yet alas, I miss tacos. My co-worker came into my office today and told be about how she was having people over tonight and decided to do a taco bar. Her description made me salivate. AND she had Subway for lunch and I could smell that for hours later, no joke. What is it about cleansing that heightens my sense of smell, lol! I cruel irony.
You know what irks me? that you can never believe what you hear about healthy eating. For instance, you always hear people say never eat after 7PM or else when you go to bed it will sit in your stomach and just store into fat. But then a friend of mine said always eat something small before bed - like a piece of bread- or else during the night, your stomach goes into starvation mode and will start storing fat. So which is right? I've heard both sides and both make sense. But who's to say which is better for you? Then there's the debate about organic vs non organic... let's not go down that road. So many conflicting ideas, some days it feels overwhelming when you're just trying to do the right thing.
I haven't weighed myself so I don't know if I lost anything. Nothing feels different, but it's only day 3 so I wasn't expecting much. The headache was only on the first night, I haven't had one since, so that's good. I have already noticed the sustained energy, I no longer crash at the end of the day. Yet I had the WORST nights sleep last night. I tossed and turned all night. Still waiting for that heavenly cleanse sleep that is in my future!! lol
I am going to a musical this weekend with a girlfriend of mine and normally we have dinner before hand at my favorite place on the planet. I've been thinking about it all day, how I wish I could go there and have salmon spread and an apple beer. I even justified the salmon spread to myself. But ultimately I have not worked hard enough to deserve a splurge like that, which in turn makes me disappointed. Plus it's probably not the best thing to have right before my first cleanse day. I'm nervous about Sunday, but only because I've done cleanses before in which my blood sugar drops and it's been miserable. This cleanse feels different simply because I've never loaded up my body with so much nutrients before.
Sorry, no deep thought in this one, or topic for that matter. I realized, cleansing is lonely and boring when you do it alone. I need to recruit a cleansing buddy. I need a commiserater. lol
-N
You know what irks me? that you can never believe what you hear about healthy eating. For instance, you always hear people say never eat after 7PM or else when you go to bed it will sit in your stomach and just store into fat. But then a friend of mine said always eat something small before bed - like a piece of bread- or else during the night, your stomach goes into starvation mode and will start storing fat. So which is right? I've heard both sides and both make sense. But who's to say which is better for you? Then there's the debate about organic vs non organic... let's not go down that road. So many conflicting ideas, some days it feels overwhelming when you're just trying to do the right thing.
I haven't weighed myself so I don't know if I lost anything. Nothing feels different, but it's only day 3 so I wasn't expecting much. The headache was only on the first night, I haven't had one since, so that's good. I have already noticed the sustained energy, I no longer crash at the end of the day. Yet I had the WORST nights sleep last night. I tossed and turned all night. Still waiting for that heavenly cleanse sleep that is in my future!! lol
I am going to a musical this weekend with a girlfriend of mine and normally we have dinner before hand at my favorite place on the planet. I've been thinking about it all day, how I wish I could go there and have salmon spread and an apple beer. I even justified the salmon spread to myself. But ultimately I have not worked hard enough to deserve a splurge like that, which in turn makes me disappointed. Plus it's probably not the best thing to have right before my first cleanse day. I'm nervous about Sunday, but only because I've done cleanses before in which my blood sugar drops and it's been miserable. This cleanse feels different simply because I've never loaded up my body with so much nutrients before.
Sorry, no deep thought in this one, or topic for that matter. I realized, cleansing is lonely and boring when you do it alone. I need to recruit a cleansing buddy. I need a commiserater. lol
-N
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Day 2
Nothing eventful has happened. I've been checking off the checklist all of the items as I do them, realized at the end of the day that I had about 100oz of water! That's pretty good for me! It has kept me peeing all day though. I've never peed so much ever, probably once an hour. And I have for sure never needed to pee in the middle of the night, which happened last night. The irony is that I've always been known to have a bladder of steel- I could drink all night and never have to pee. It was my claim to fame, as sad as that is!
I had a killer headache last night that knocked me out (plus the no sleep the night before, double knock out). I got home, made my shake, waited about a half hour then took my cleanse pill and passed out around 7PM and slept like a rock all night (minus the pee break of course). Woke up at 6:30am this morning to start over again. This isn't my first rodeo so I know that the headaches are usually from all the toxins being released in your system and your body hates you for a few days while it adjusts. I've had worse, and the fact that I wasn't hungry helped. Because without doubt being home was the hardest part, being that my roommate just went to the store to buy groceries. I thought work would be hard? no. Home was bad. It was funny because I wasn't hungry, like, at all. But my body was craving things that I saw. It was some pretty intense will power to drink my shake and not think about that new block of cheese in my fridge (that and the crackers were calling my name). This morning I was hoping to feel refreshed, but I'm not to that point yet.
I made my shake this morning and decided to put some ice in it (just in it, not crushed in it). And let me tell you it makes all the difference! I was able to get it down in 15 mins, all while cooking my chicken for todays lunch. I'm having chicken with steamed mixed veggies, an apple, and a greek yogurt (about 500 cals total). I had never had greek yogurt before, so I bought 4 different flavors that I'm giving a try. Yesterday was honey flavor, today is vanilla. I am trying to stay away from the fruit flavored ones to avoid the possible sugar they usually have. Counting calories is tough, but when you only have to do it for 1 meal a day it seems so much less stressful. Yesterday I wasn't hungry which I was happy about, usually these things leave something to be desired. Maybe it's all the water I'm drinking, keeping my belly full to ward off hunger! lol
I'm having issues with all the pills/vitamins, but only because I'm a retard. I choke on like every one of them, I had to take the fish oil pill twice cause I literally threw it up on my mouth with its water (I know that as gross, but this is my blog and it is a judgment free zone. I'll warn you before I start talking about my bowel movements! lol).
The other thing worth noting is that my kidneys are tender. They don't hurt, and it doesn't hurt to pee (for all you "it's a kidney infection" people), they're just tender. It could just be that they are working overtime because there are toxins invading my body right now, or maybe from all the water I'm drinking, they've never worked so hard before. But either way, I am going to look into it and see if its anything I should be concerned about.
I haven't noticed any significant changes other than that. I've decided not to weigh myself everyday, I think I'd rather see a the number when I weigh myself after every cleanse day. We'll see.
-N
I had a killer headache last night that knocked me out (plus the no sleep the night before, double knock out). I got home, made my shake, waited about a half hour then took my cleanse pill and passed out around 7PM and slept like a rock all night (minus the pee break of course). Woke up at 6:30am this morning to start over again. This isn't my first rodeo so I know that the headaches are usually from all the toxins being released in your system and your body hates you for a few days while it adjusts. I've had worse, and the fact that I wasn't hungry helped. Because without doubt being home was the hardest part, being that my roommate just went to the store to buy groceries. I thought work would be hard? no. Home was bad. It was funny because I wasn't hungry, like, at all. But my body was craving things that I saw. It was some pretty intense will power to drink my shake and not think about that new block of cheese in my fridge (that and the crackers were calling my name). This morning I was hoping to feel refreshed, but I'm not to that point yet.
I made my shake this morning and decided to put some ice in it (just in it, not crushed in it). And let me tell you it makes all the difference! I was able to get it down in 15 mins, all while cooking my chicken for todays lunch. I'm having chicken with steamed mixed veggies, an apple, and a greek yogurt (about 500 cals total). I had never had greek yogurt before, so I bought 4 different flavors that I'm giving a try. Yesterday was honey flavor, today is vanilla. I am trying to stay away from the fruit flavored ones to avoid the possible sugar they usually have. Counting calories is tough, but when you only have to do it for 1 meal a day it seems so much less stressful. Yesterday I wasn't hungry which I was happy about, usually these things leave something to be desired. Maybe it's all the water I'm drinking, keeping my belly full to ward off hunger! lol
I'm having issues with all the pills/vitamins, but only because I'm a retard. I choke on like every one of them, I had to take the fish oil pill twice cause I literally threw it up on my mouth with its water (I know that as gross, but this is my blog and it is a judgment free zone. I'll warn you before I start talking about my bowel movements! lol).
The other thing worth noting is that my kidneys are tender. They don't hurt, and it doesn't hurt to pee (for all you "it's a kidney infection" people), they're just tender. It could just be that they are working overtime because there are toxins invading my body right now, or maybe from all the water I'm drinking, they've never worked so hard before. But either way, I am going to look into it and see if its anything I should be concerned about.
I haven't noticed any significant changes other than that. I've decided not to weigh myself everyday, I think I'd rather see a the number when I weigh myself after every cleanse day. We'll see.
-N
Monday, January 9, 2012
Day 1- Isagenix 30 day cleanse
Weight lost: 0
Inches lost: 0
My cleanse was supposed to arrive on Thursday. When it not only did not show up but when I tracked it it showed no activity, I panicked a little. I had some issues over Christmas with this same thing, so I was relieved when they sent me a delivery confirmation on Friday! I ran after work to get it from my box and tore into it when I got home. First let me say that the box was so heavy I wondered what I had gotten myself into; want to lose weight? just carry that box around all day, geez! I had a hard time maneuvering on the ice and getting through the door. But alas I made it, and like the "rule-follower" I am, promptly watched the dvd instructional and listened to the audio. I felt a lot better about following the guidelines after listening to the audio because they reiterated how this is not a diet and though their meal suggestions will give you the best possible results, you are not required to eat what they suggest. It really takes the pressure off. I've done cleanses before where it is stressed that, for instance, if you have milk after they take you off it, that you'll ruin the whole cleanse. Isagenix reiterated more than once that this is not the case for their program. So that was a nice surprise!
I kinda set myself up for failure this morning. I stayed up till 1AM finishing reading a book I couldn't put down, so even though I woke up early to do the cleanse stuff, I had only gotten 4 hours of sleep. I'm dragging ass today. I am SO thankful they have an idiot proof checklist on what to take and when or else I'd be screwed; this cleanse has a lot of components. The ionix stuff smells bad but doesn't taste too bad (luckily I only drink an ounce, so it doesn't matter much). The shake smells absolutely delicious but tastes a little less delicious! haha, BUT all my worries are put aside, I think I won't have problem drinking them twice a day. They taste like a protein drink which inevitably tastes weird, but it's probably the best one I've ever tasted in that category. Still a little weird though. I didn't make it with crushed ice, I will have to try that tonight. What is it about cold drinks that can make them taste better?
No hunger pains yet, I had my snack and am about to head out to get a salad and some things for later this week. It's kinda nice having to only plan one meal a day! I've had to pee a million times today and my kidneys are tender (a good sign assume). We'll see how I feel tomorrow after one full day of packing my body with nutrients. I am expecting the usual few days of feeling like crap as toxins come out of your cells and your body freaks out. Don't feel like crap yet.
Sorry I'm not more amusing, like I said, I am tired and pretty much don't function on less than 8 hours of sleep.
So far so good though, time will tell.
-N
Inches lost: 0
My cleanse was supposed to arrive on Thursday. When it not only did not show up but when I tracked it it showed no activity, I panicked a little. I had some issues over Christmas with this same thing, so I was relieved when they sent me a delivery confirmation on Friday! I ran after work to get it from my box and tore into it when I got home. First let me say that the box was so heavy I wondered what I had gotten myself into; want to lose weight? just carry that box around all day, geez! I had a hard time maneuvering on the ice and getting through the door. But alas I made it, and like the "rule-follower" I am, promptly watched the dvd instructional and listened to the audio. I felt a lot better about following the guidelines after listening to the audio because they reiterated how this is not a diet and though their meal suggestions will give you the best possible results, you are not required to eat what they suggest. It really takes the pressure off. I've done cleanses before where it is stressed that, for instance, if you have milk after they take you off it, that you'll ruin the whole cleanse. Isagenix reiterated more than once that this is not the case for their program. So that was a nice surprise!
I kinda set myself up for failure this morning. I stayed up till 1AM finishing reading a book I couldn't put down, so even though I woke up early to do the cleanse stuff, I had only gotten 4 hours of sleep. I'm dragging ass today. I am SO thankful they have an idiot proof checklist on what to take and when or else I'd be screwed; this cleanse has a lot of components. The ionix stuff smells bad but doesn't taste too bad (luckily I only drink an ounce, so it doesn't matter much). The shake smells absolutely delicious but tastes a little less delicious! haha, BUT all my worries are put aside, I think I won't have problem drinking them twice a day. They taste like a protein drink which inevitably tastes weird, but it's probably the best one I've ever tasted in that category. Still a little weird though. I didn't make it with crushed ice, I will have to try that tonight. What is it about cold drinks that can make them taste better?
No hunger pains yet, I had my snack and am about to head out to get a salad and some things for later this week. It's kinda nice having to only plan one meal a day! I've had to pee a million times today and my kidneys are tender (a good sign assume). We'll see how I feel tomorrow after one full day of packing my body with nutrients. I am expecting the usual few days of feeling like crap as toxins come out of your cells and your body freaks out. Don't feel like crap yet.
Sorry I'm not more amusing, like I said, I am tired and pretty much don't function on less than 8 hours of sleep.
So far so good though, time will tell.
-N
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